04.28.09
Posted in Weight Loss at 2:42 pm by Deb
Nothing gets my day going right better than a good workout. Forgot how good that used to feel. Even if all I did was plod away on one of those silly elliptical machines, I got good and sweaty and my knees damn near gave out on the way back to my truck. Then I went home, showered and hopped on the hog for a nice cool ride to work.
I'm kind of bummed that ww only credits me 2 points for my workout this morning, but it's better than nothing. I've never been able to lose weight by just dieting or just working out–it has to go together, and it has to follow the regimen or I just spin my wheels.
I'm tired of feeling like I'm too fat and old to be happy or loved. The thing with the jeans this weekend REEEALLLY pissed me off, but it was a major wake-up call. There's no reason in the world that I SHOULD be buying size 20 jeans.
That little revelation pushed me to clean out my closets and get rid of a shitload of clothes too. My truck is stuffed with three huge bags of clothes, shoes and other crap to go to the goodwill. I put the stuff I can't get into yet but want to keep in the back closet, and sorted the stuff I have to wear now so I'm not digging around in the mornings.
And the "Lady in Red" dress is hanging on the door as a reminder, an inspiration.
It's all part of my new "focus on me" attitude. I'm tired of trying to get validation from men–they always let me down. I've changed that attitude too-It's not ME letting THEM down, but quite the other way around.
It's a new ride down a new road for me. And it feels REAL good.
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04.27.09
Posted in Rants & Laments, Weight Loss at 12:19 pm by Deb
…you go to good old Walmart, the only place that you've ever been able to find Lee Riders in tall/plus sizes, only to find that the biggest size they have now even in PLUS is 18.
WTF??
Just a couple of months ago I went there and got two pairs of nice black Lee Relaxed Rider 20 talls. Sometimes they'd be out of them, but they'd usually have them sooner or later. No more. They're not just out of them, they seem to be inobtainium. Anywhere, from what I've seen. Can't even find them online.
I guess Lee doesn't want to bother with us fat chicks anymore. No nice jeans for you, fat girl, go see Omar the Tent Maker and get yourself a nice mumu.
If that's not incentive to stay on the WW wagon, I don't know what is.
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04.22.09
Posted in News at 1:20 pm by Deb
Just got a nice note from the collector who bought Water Willow–said she arrived safely and she's very happy with her. Another creation goes to the UK! She said she saw my work in the February issue of Miniature Collector–must have been that tiny ad I had to get for the Chicago Show. So I can count three sales for Chicago–not bad at all for a noob.
Again, I messed up on the shipping and ended up eating about 15 bucks on it, but lesson learned. It's cheaper to ship priority mail overseas by weight than in the flat rate box for my stuff. I'm just glad she found her way to a collector.
Now I need to start a mailing list so I can notify interested people when I've got something new. That, and I need to update my galleries and CDHM, and PDMAG…never enough hours in the day.
I'm also debating about doing the Molly Cromwell show in Baltimore in September. One day, $165 for a table, wouldn't have to spend the night. Even if it ended up being a wash, at least the cost would be minimal. And it would give me a chance to scope out the hotel for FaerieCon, which is in November at the same venue.
Not enough hours in the day…
I've also finally decided that I need to leave the Brandywine Harps. As much as I once enjoyed it and I'll miss everyone, I don't enjoy it anymore. I've fallen way behind on the music, I HATE driving to West Chester for rehearsals, and to the four corners of the globe for concerts at rest homes and churches. ACK. I just don't wanna do it anymore. March was bliss not having some concert to go to every weekend, or rehearsals on weeknights. It's just not my thing anymore. I still want to play my harp, but I'd rather work on songs I want to play instead of killing myself to learn some part for the ensemble I don't even like. I'm sure they can get someone else to sing "Baloo Lammy" and "Harpers are not Bizarre."
I need to concentrate on getting myself together, not scattering myself all over creation.
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04.07.09
Posted in News at 11:51 am by Deb
Well, the big show has come and gone. I survived it, and actually sold two dolls: The Bathtub Cowboy and the Scotsman in the red tartan. I had two students in my Vespa workshop. Between the two, I think I might have made enough money to cover my expenses. It was a great show, well worth doing. I even signed up and paid for next year already. I feel like I'm finally running with the big dogs now–and I held my own.
All went well, with the exception having to rent a car for the trip–old Blue crapped out on me the week before. Jim decided to have a local mechanic work on it. $725 later, and it STILL isn't right. I drove the rental car to work today, because it did it again. Right now it's sitting in front of the trailer, where it stalled out and refused to start again this morning. Which means tonight, I'll have to deal not only with the truck problem, but with Jim being all pissed off about it.
So now, I'm back at work struggling with the "post show blues." After Chicago, none of this silly crap I deal with at work seems important. I spent the entire morning weeding through emails and voice mail messages, dealing with the onslaught of "could you just…" requests, and trying to prioritize the mountain of work that's piling up on my head. This little entry-level job that seemed so blessedly simple a few months ago is starting to get overwhelming, and after only six months I'm starting to feel burnt-out already. If I could just sit here and focus on what I was hired to do instead of all this other CRAP, it would be ok.
If only I could find a way to make enough money with my artwork and escape the 9-5 treadmill! Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to have a job when so many people are losing theirs, but I just want to scream "you're not paying me enough to put up with this SHIT!" more and more. 25 years of experience, and I make less money here than I did 15 years ago. And to top it off, they keep bringing in college students to evaluate things and tell us how to do our jobs. I don't know how long I'm going to be able to keep this up.
Today, I just want to run away from it all. I want to go back to being the respected artist I was this weekend in Chicago, not this lowly wage slave I've become. This weekend was fabulous. Today, I just want to cry.
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